


chicken song consequences

by belatedwannable



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Image, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Food Issues, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 03:29:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21487612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belatedwannable/pseuds/belatedwannable
Summary: A certain song made in Zero Base has unintended consequences. Woojin makes it right.
Relationships: Park Jihoon/Park Woojin
Kudos: 44
Collections: i'll meet you in my dreams | day 6: night terrors of darkness





	chicken song consequences

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Before we begin, I want to clarify that Jihoon does not have an eating disorder here, which is why I didn’t include that tag. That being said, this fic does address body insecurities, weight gain, and food issues, so if any of that is a trigger for you, please heed the tags and take care of yourself by not reading. Thanks!

Woojin just wants to impress his hyungs as they fool around trying to make a song and Jihoon happens to come into view at the precise moment they scan their surroundings for inspiration, looking incredibly adorable in his little red reindeer nose and grey hoodie. At first, all they manage to produce are nonsense words sung in off-pitch high notes, but eventually, Jaehwan sings a prompt. “What’s in Jihoonie’s mind?”

Without missing a beat, Daniel raps in reply, “I want to eat ramen.”

Woojin adds on, matching the rhythm exactly, “I want to eat rice.” In a group where quick-witted humor is social currency, he’s always looking for a chance to hone his skills.

At first, Jihoon seems into it, nodding his head along to the beat as he goes to get some more food from the feast that’s been set out for them. Naturally, he heads for chicken, his all-time favorite, and Woojin sees an opportunity.

Mustering all the soul he has, he croons, “Jihoonie is eating chicken again after he ate a whole chicken earlier.” The impromptu performance causes both his hyungs to laugh and continue with the theme, so Woojin counts it as a success…at first.

Watching his boyfriend closely, he can tell that something’s off. Jihoon’s eating just as much as usual, but he doesn’t seem to be enjoying the tender meat with uninhibited enthusiasm and he doesn’t lick his fingers after finishing sections. Small signs, but nothing worthy of alarm.

After the chicken is reduced to mere bones, Jihoon disposes of his dishes and calmly heads to the restroom, but there’s a strained look on his face that goes straight to Woojin’s heart. While Jihoon may be a master at schooling his face into a stoic expression, he’s no match for Woojin’s sharp observation skills. He waits a couple minutes for the opportunity to excuse himself, then swiftly follows his boyfriend.

Entering the bathroom, Woojin hears quiet sobs coming from the last stall as his heart leaps into his throat. _Could it be food poisoning already? The chicken shouldn’t have hit his stomach by now._ Thanking his lucky stars that he learned to pick locks long ago, he turns a makeshift key until he hears the bolt click as it comes undone. He keeps a fist clenched anxiously by his side because the love of his life is in pain and he doesn’t know the cause.

The second the door swings open, he rushes to wrap Jihoon, who sits on the floor with his hands covering his face in an attempt to muffle his whimpers, in a tight embrace and rub his back. With a quick glance toward the toilet bowl to determine that Jihoon hasn’t thrown anything up, Woojin pulls him back to lean against his chest, holding him through his tears and tracing circles soothingly on his arm. He lowers his voice to a gentle murmur. “Hey, hey, it’s alright. I’ve got you. Let me know if you need to throw up and I’ll let go, but I’m staying here as long as you do.” _How did this happen, beautiful? How can I take the hurt away?_

For a few minutes that feel like an eternity, they sit in silence, punctuated only by Jihoon’s shaky breaths as he attempts to calm himself enough to speak. When he does, the words are less than reassuring. “Y-you can go. I’m not sick or anything, just got a little overwhelmed. A good cry f-fixes everything, right? Besides, I didn’t work out at all today, so it’s not like I deserved to eat that much.”

A key phrase echoes loudly in Woojin’s mind. _Deserved to eat. Since when is food something that’s earned, love? Don’t you know that you deserve everything good in this world?_ Then, a possible, no, probable reason for Jihoon’s current line of thought hits him all at once and he has to fight the wave of nausea that courses through him. _This is my fault. The song. This is all my fault._

To calm himself down, Woojin presses a kiss into the base of Jihoon’s neck while his mind races to find words that might help. He finds some eventually and hopes that he’s right. “I’m so sorry, Hoonie. I was being an idiot. I shouldn’t have said those things at all.”

Woojin can feel Jihoon tense up in his arms before he manages to speak in a small voice, “It’s not just you.”

“Right, the hyungs too. They were being dumb, but they were only following my lead. I’m so, so sorry. It’ll never happen again, I swear.”

Shaking his head emphatically, Jihoon insists, “No, that’s not what I meant. It’s not just the members.”

Woojin’s mouth sets itself into a thin line, knowing he’s not going to like what comes next. “What do you mean?”

Jihoon takes a deep breath to steady himself before starting. “Lots of people have been saying I need to stop eating so much. Managers, producers, even my mom called, pleading with me to lose weight.”

Woojin holds him just a little tighter as Jihoon pauses, thinking of how best to relate the story before continuing, “When I went home last week, my parents kept me on a strict diet, which was so hard. They said it was for my own good and I know they were just trying to help…but they made me feel _unloved_. You don’t know what it’s like to be home with all the familiar things except the food and all I really wanted was a homecooked meal like the ones I remembered.” The sobs sneak back into his voice and Woojin fights the urge to swear at all the people who’ve wrecked his beloved Hoonie’s self-esteem.

But Jihoon’s heart-wrenching monologue isn’t finished. “All they show on the broadcast for this show is me eating and for some reason, when I’m here, I just want to eat. They order our favorites too, so I can’t even bring myself to _want_ to say no. And I don’t know…I-I feel like I’m letting everyone down, including you.” Tears drip down his face as he hangs his head in shame.

Heart pounding with the need to make things right, Woojin shifts until he’s in front of his boyfriend, pleading, “Jihoonie, look at me please.” Little things from the past few weeks come back to haunt him in stunning clarity. Jihoon’s recent preference to be intimate in the dark, managing to keep his shirt on by keeping Woojin’s focus further down his body, shifting the spotlight more on his lover than on his own pleasure. Woojin thinks to himself that he should have spotted Jihoon’s insecurities long before it came to this. He should have known.

After what seems like an eternity, Jihoon raises his head enough to make eye contact and Woojin gently cups his face in his hands as if holding the most precious jewel in the world. Unshed tears shine in his own eyes as he gazes at his lover.

“Are you just going to look at me?” Jihoon quips after a moment, a small attempt at humor that Woojin smiles at, but pushes past so he can focus on what’s necessary to say.

“I love you. I love _all_ of you. It doesn’t matter what whoever says. You’re mine and you can never let me down because I know that you’re always trying your hardest. All the members, all the fans, they know that too.”

“But what if my best isn’t good enough? I’m doing my best now and I keep gaining weight.”

“Your best _is_ good enough, love, and I don’t care about the weight. I care most about you, a happy and healthy you, a person who loves me with all your heart.”

Woojin pauses to run his thumbs gently over Jihoon’s cheeks, wiping away the tears trailing downwards. “I know your fears and insecurities aren’t going to disappear overnight, but I’m not in this relationship for the overnight. I’m in it for as long as you want me by your side, and I’ll do everything in my power for however long it takes you to start seeing yourself as I do. I see you as the most precious person on this planet, my soulmate, my love. Unbelievably beautiful, unspeakably sexy, unexpectedly mine. From this day on, I promise to show you how loved you are, to prove it time and again until you begin to believe it.”

Jihoon studies his face, looking for any sign of sarcasm or humor, but all he sees is genuine love, care, and adoration. Overcome by emotion, he leans forward to press a kiss to Woojin’s lips. It says what his words cannot: _Message received_._ Thank you for this. I love you too._

When they go to Japan, Woojin observes Jihoon and he seems to be in good spirits. That is, until they sit down at the okonomiyaki restaurant. The new style of food is unfamiliar to all of them, but Jihoon suddenly goes quiet and tense beside Woojin.

Woojin swears that he can hear the anxious thoughts coursing through Jihoon’s mind as he observes the food on the griddle. _Am I allowed to eat this and enjoy it? I don’t even know how to start. Will I look greedy if I serve myself?_

In a silent answer to those questions, Woojin takes it upon himself to serve Jihoon a generous portion and piling sauce and fish flakes on top. His Hoonie deserves nothing but the best, after all.

That day and every day thereafter, Woojin is there to make sure that Jihoon eats all he wants and knows how much he matters. When Jihoon sets his mind on acquiring abs for their final concert, Woojin makes sure that Jihoon gets all the nutrition he needs during the day. By night, he worships his lover’s body to remind him that he is loved regardless of his physical condition.

Even when they’re apart, Woojin sets Jihoon’s phone so he sees a reminder each day that simply reads, “I love you.” It’s signed off with a bird emoji, so Jihoon always remembers there’s at least one person who loves him just the way he is, and always will.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: For the record, I don’t think the boys were trying to make Jihoon feel self-conscious about his eating habits when they were playing around with [the song,](https://youtu.be/Uo1iQ4WkL0A) but given what we were shown, there’s a case to be made for that song resulting in that type of shame anyway. This is my little fix-it fic. It’s not perfect and once again, I don’t think Jihoon has an eating disorder, though the episodes portrayed here could certainly lead to one over time. Though I myself don't have one, I wrote this as someone who has struggled with weight issues from an early age, with most of the pressure coming from my well-meaning parents. This fic is my version of night terrors and what I would want someone to say to help me through these thoughts. As always, you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/belatedwannable) and [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/belatedwannable). I welcome comments and conversations!


End file.
